Post by PorkyPies on Dec 13, 2006 16:31:15 GMT 1
I watched an hour long prog. last night showing the awards from the last 12 yrs. It was hilarious in parts, especially how Wossy has changed in his appearance.
Best Comedy Awards jokes
By MICHAEL DEACON
December 13, 2006
IT'S the awards bash that can be even funnier than the shows it honours.
Tonight sees the 17th annual British Comedy Awards – live on ITV1 from 9pm.
The do is hosted, as ever, by chat show king Jonathan Ross, and will celebrate a constellation of British comic talent.
Extras' stars Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant battle each other for Best TV Comedy Actor, Catherine Tate is up for Best TV Comedy Actress and Ant and Dec could grab as many as three gongs.
To rev up your laughing gear, we've compiled our favourite jokes told at recent years' ceremonies – by the host and by the stars in their acceptance speeches.
Be warned – some of the gags aren't exactly suitable for your nan.
Unless she's the nan from Catherine Tate.
Jokes by awards host Jonathan Ross
The Comedy Awards is 15.
And like all 15-year-olds, it's drunk, dangerous and probably going home with David Walliams.
I spent £20 on a Matt Lucas Little Britain doll.
Got home and found I'd bought Gail Porter instead.
With Extras, Ricky Gervais showed he's no one-trick pony.
He's now up to one-and-a-half.
Stand-up comedian Dara O'Briain – Ireland's best-kept secret.
Apart from Louis Walsh's wife.
Little Britain's Matt Lucas.
Some have speculated he's not the only gay in the double act.
Jade Goody.
Men all over the country want to take her home and s**g her brains in.
Extras special ... Ricky Gervais
Jokes from acceptance speeches
I think I can speak for Stephen Merchant as well.
We're both proud of my writing.
Ricky Gervais
I have never been around so many famous people I've never heard of, telling jokes I don't understand.
Simpsons creator Matt Groening
Dara O’Briain, to Chico: What's the time?
Chico: It's Chico time!
Dara O’Briain: Really? I make it about 20 minutes past Chico time.
There are many differences between England and America.
You say: "Do you want a lift in my lorry?" We say: "Do you want an elevator in my truck?"
We have Elvis. You have Cliff Richard.
You have The Rolling Stones. We have The Beatles.
We have Madonna. Now you have Madonna.
Dan Castellaneta, as Homer Simpson
Best Comedy Awards jokes
By MICHAEL DEACON
December 13, 2006
IT'S the awards bash that can be even funnier than the shows it honours.
Tonight sees the 17th annual British Comedy Awards – live on ITV1 from 9pm.
The do is hosted, as ever, by chat show king Jonathan Ross, and will celebrate a constellation of British comic talent.
Extras' stars Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant battle each other for Best TV Comedy Actor, Catherine Tate is up for Best TV Comedy Actress and Ant and Dec could grab as many as three gongs.
To rev up your laughing gear, we've compiled our favourite jokes told at recent years' ceremonies – by the host and by the stars in their acceptance speeches.
Be warned – some of the gags aren't exactly suitable for your nan.
Unless she's the nan from Catherine Tate.
Jokes by awards host Jonathan Ross
The Comedy Awards is 15.
And like all 15-year-olds, it's drunk, dangerous and probably going home with David Walliams.
I spent £20 on a Matt Lucas Little Britain doll.
Got home and found I'd bought Gail Porter instead.
With Extras, Ricky Gervais showed he's no one-trick pony.
He's now up to one-and-a-half.
Stand-up comedian Dara O'Briain – Ireland's best-kept secret.
Apart from Louis Walsh's wife.
Little Britain's Matt Lucas.
Some have speculated he's not the only gay in the double act.
Jade Goody.
Men all over the country want to take her home and s**g her brains in.
Extras special ... Ricky Gervais
Jokes from acceptance speeches
I think I can speak for Stephen Merchant as well.
We're both proud of my writing.
Ricky Gervais
I have never been around so many famous people I've never heard of, telling jokes I don't understand.
Simpsons creator Matt Groening
Dara O’Briain, to Chico: What's the time?
Chico: It's Chico time!
Dara O’Briain: Really? I make it about 20 minutes past Chico time.
There are many differences between England and America.
You say: "Do you want a lift in my lorry?" We say: "Do you want an elevator in my truck?"
We have Elvis. You have Cliff Richard.
You have The Rolling Stones. We have The Beatles.
We have Madonna. Now you have Madonna.
Dan Castellaneta, as Homer Simpson
